Urban Organica

handmaid :: cut & style 1

"So I found your Secret Blog last night.  I like the names you picked for everyone.  It's great..." "Oh, thanks, it's just us, just some homeschooling stuff, kinda a little domestic-ky stuff I love..."  "I don't get it.  It's not really you.  Where's all the...tips?"  "Tips?"  "Yeah, the Tips.  The tips about the clothes & the environment & the activism stuff?  But really, where are all the CLOTHES???"

I took two lovely used child-size James Pearce T-shirts & my favorite Singers.

This is very funny to me.  This blog was started for a really silly reason.  I saw all the yummy homemade swaps happening out there & I wanted in.  I mean, I'm making stuff, you're making stuff, we should just make stuff for eachother & eachother's children, right??  Then came the very obvious thing, that even though I'm a die-hard macaholic, I'm basically computer illiterate.  So then it's been about getting literate - learning how to post pictures, make a banner, use my digital camera.  I'm moving along, & it's been very empowering.  Then it became about keeping in touch with my Dad, my MamaDes, my brothers Elrik & Jeric in the Philippines, & now my new sister Mimsy.  (That's her name! Isn't it fabulous!  She named herself as a little girl.  And...she's having a boy!!)  Since I don't send pictures or letters or call & generally just love people in person, it was only right to tell close family & share what we're up to.  

I cut them up a bit.

But a blog is a blog, & now I'm thinking about the fact that there Are things I love, things I do, things that are really who I am that I might let you all in on.  Adding to that, I'm ridiculously gushy, so anyone I talk to knows I have a blog because I can't help but brag about how accomplished I feel on any given day for things like changing the text color or adding a link. So to my beloved community, styling clients, workshop, course & Jam participants that invited me to share for real,  this may be my most posted category: handmaid :: all things made.  all things feminine.  & 'cause I'm basically my family's happy handmaid.  

A category about a stylist's creative admissions. So here goes...

 

keep still, mom!

I don't believe in spending money for a haircut when I can use that money for organic food or unschooling supplies or philanthropy.  So my 6 year-old cuts my hair.  Always has, since he was three.  And before that, it was me.

 

Take one dry, frizzy, shaggy mop of hair.

It's not for everyone, but some people Love, love, love my hair- when it's done, that is.  And I don't always have the 2 minutes to do it.  Because it tends to look a bit f-ed up, I'm often told it looks "rock & roll" & "bed-headdy."  And how does one do this type of cut?  

The 2-minute Miracle For Real

It really only takes a second, actually.  It works better on damp, out-of-the shower hair if you want a wet look or for your hair to be piece-y, but it works great on dry hair, two.  Add a bit of olive oil, & Yes. You look hot.  It makes thin hair thick & lustrous.  It makes thick hair shiny & well-behaved.  It doesn't attract dust, get flaky, make you look done.  Depending on how much you use, it looks sleek & done or creative & choppy.  Your hair moves, you look like a nature girl.  Which makes us approachable.  Oh, I could just go on & on & on, can't I?  Oh, yes, do you have to use organic?  Oh, come on.  Yes.  We are chemical-free here.  Just use what you saved on the haircut & the shirt. 

 

free clothes + free hair = free to be 

I don't know many of us ambitious enough to make our own intimates, but if you do, you are my she-ro & I'd like to know your name.  For the rest of us, especially those like myself who've been nursing or pregnant since January 2001 (-11 months), take a note from the French & make sure you're inspired by your underwear.  There.  I said it.  Both the shirt & the bra are nursing-friendly.  Funky bras like these are at Free People.  Uh, hi family.  Uh, hi beloved friends working for basic needs.  Like I said, these are a stylist's admissions.  It's just easier to be conscious when we're not feeling overwhelmed or deprived.  More of the American privileges I speak of using responsibly. 

this is it :: the family bed (room)

Well the last thing I really want is to show the world my bedroom.  And yet, here I am.  I guess if I really didn't want to show you I wouldn't, but I tend to put aside my little wants when some other, larger commitment shows up.  Which kinda sounds silly in this case, but I think family bedrooms are so important!  This is a bit of a personal response, actually, to dear friends starting their own precious nests. And the very important questions they have been living with.  So if anyone was wondering  what kind of activist I am, anyways, it's this:  I'm an advocate for examined choice.  A lot of parents have questions about the family bed, I know we get asked all the time.  Many seem to want to do it, but don't for lack of confidence that it's actually going to "work out."  It SO works out for us.  

the boy's bed

Tonka just went on his first overnight trip to his Lola's (grandma) 1 1/2 hours away. He had to agree to two nights to be able to go, & he did.  Sigh.  Is he even ready for that?  Really?  We were told that if we did this that we'd spoil them.  That they'd never leave our beds.  Love is 6, about to be 7, & he's been spending weeks at a time down there.  And begging for more.  My girlfriend said to me, "Congratulations.  If he's off somewhere like that, without you, He's Beginning to Trust the World." If you knew some of the things our little family's been through, then you'd know that for us that is a bittersweet victory.  That could only have come from giving each of us the space to move at a natural pace, & enough time together to know what's going on.

Sometimes the lights are on, but no one's home.  

If someone needs something from me in the middle of the night, I have every intention of doing it without waking up.  I mean, I'm totally committed to my sleep!  I just could never imagine getting up in the night to check on them across the hall, making bottles downstairs, sitting bolt upright in bed to a yelling child just to find out they've peed, need water or want me to get in.  Never mind the crazy round of musical beds that would entail.  Oh, no.  I love my rest.  We can't picture trying to sleep through the night without our babies close to us, hearing their breath, feeling their bellies move up & down.  We can't picture moving further than the queen bed across the room where our lovies keep each other comforted & warm through the night.  

feng shui: a little visual reminder of what we're all supposed to do in this room of ours

It's always interesting to hear the question, "Does he sleep through the night, yet?"  It's the new-parent equivalent of, "How's the weather?"  Our answers have changed many times.  The interesting part is that people don't usually believe our answers!  After hearing that we nurse on demand, I do it in my sleep & that we generally all just, well, sleep, folks usually repeat the question or just kinda glaze over.  But it's true.  Mothering Magazine is filled to the brim with articles, pictures & reader's letters depicting just such fairy tales.  I'm not saying postpartum is easy or that I get 8 hours of sleep every night.  I am saying that it's all workable, sleep is possible, & that for us, it's not about whether or not it's a worthwhile endeavor.  It's that we like to live fabulous lives & this is how we put it all together.

10 Things I Love About Our Family Bed (room):

1. Sleep.  Not having to fully wake up to manage a child in another room.  

2. 12 hours of quiet time.  They know we're there, so they feel safe & so they sleep.

3. A happy, well-rested husband.   D doesn't have to share feeding duties because the baby rarely even wakes up fully.  More often than not he's latched on without my help. 

4. Getting to know each child so well.  Getting to know his signals even in our sleep.

5. We can keep our eye on any special needs, like if one of them is sick, scared, injured or sad.

night verse taped to the wall above their bed

6. Easier night & morning rhythms. One bed, one story, one song, one prayer, one candle.  Goodnight.

morning verse

7. Easy to get to my own bed on clingy nights.  "I'll be right over there."

8. No nightmares.  Again, we're right there.  Each night we rub their backs with some Valor pure essential oil.  And if they need more, we just crawl over.

dreamcatchers made by the boys when they moved into their own bed

9. Sweetness.  How they argue each night over space, but by 1am they always manage to pile up with arms over knees, hands on shoulders.  Hearing the funny things they murmur in their sleep.

10. Diaper changes are a cinch.  Roll off bed.  Grab diaper.  Put on sleeping child.  No waiting for D to wake up & help.  (No arguing about it) I  have those hormones, he doesn't.  I just do it & go to sleep.  Same for wet beds.  Roll off bed.  Grab a towel, lay it down.  Go to sleep.

when one must get up, it's nice to sit down

11. Feeling like I'm part of the human continuum.  People have always used the family bed & lived in community.  It's a very recent experiment to use separate rooms.

12. It's a foundational message to our whole family: No Need to Just Fall in Line. Create What Feels Healthy & Right to You.

Okay, so I can't stop at 10 & I'm barely stopping at 12.  Oh, yeaahh...

organic mattresses

13. 5 people is justification for two huge organic beds.  It just is.

 I met the sweetest, most wonderful mom at the park today.  Her 2 1/2 year old is her miracle child after over a decade of trying to get pregnant with countless treatments.  He's severely autistic & she obviously knows him very well.  I played with him for an hour before I realized what was up.  She knows his needs & they're very sweet together.  But she was so apologetic to admit they all shared the same bed.  It's so sad to me that we are taught that this is a "bad habit," that it will spoil our children, that it's embarrassing.   I hope my unabashed gushing adds a layer of love to all those important questions.  I know this wouldn't work for so many families.  And each child is so different.  It only takes one to shift the balance!  We have to be okay doing what works & inventing things as we go along.

 

easy-peasy ikea dressers make less work for me & look sweet

One day soon they'll be resting their heads in other towns & planning out their own days & weeks & years.  Until then we want to hear every sleepy whisper.  We want to read them nourishing bedtime tales & pray for their hearts & hands &...pets.  We want to get their backrubs & their midnight hugs.

An incremental chime alarm wakes everyone up slowly & gently.

Soon enough we'll be consultants.

Sew: I Heart Linen

A little shot out to a crazy beautiful blog: iheartlinen is so extremely lovely.  The crafter is a bit madcap-cabin-fever-mama (which I define as "need to craft. must craft now.  but...children. everywhere.  how do i craft. now?") making her unerring eye & the massive amount of items pouring from her studio all the more totally insane.  If you like my stuff, you'll go straight kooky after seeing what she makes!

Oh, how I love Japanese linen.  These are for my littlest.  I really wanted to update the shape of the bibs to be more comfy & to be as cute & cool as the fabric.  The answer: little ear-tails! The shape makes them curve, as well.  So I guess you could say that these are ergonomic.

How genius is this little bus stop?  I think it's a Shinzi Katoh design.  This is one of those fabrics that I find myself fondling & fantasizing over.  D said there's a certain look I get on my face that "so surpasses excitement for any other thing on this planet" & when I get it he knows I'm having "some sort of fabric idea."  Yikes...is it that bad?  But really, look at the apple-green polka dots against that slubby linen.  And the bright backings.  It all just makes me wanna swoon.

The boys kept asking for work pouches, tool belts, restaurant aprons, market change bags, et cetera.  So I was very eager to see if something might just pass as all of it.  Should I not get to my machine for a bit.  As it turned out they helped, so there's little extras to each one & some good ol' slap-dash sewing.  I've just gotta let my perfectionist go sometimes.  We have a broken clay mushroom in the garden for all our unhelpful gnomies- the whiny gnomie, the demanding gnomie, the grinder-perfectionist gnomie.  There's two things we sing around here:   "Outside voices go outside, inside voice inside." And,"grumpy gnomie, back to your mushroom!"  Both have matching hand gestures & the kids think it's just hilarious, but they do it, they throw out their outside voices & throw out their sads.  

Anyways, there's a great basic template for this kinda thing in Sew & Stow.  Now that book rocks.  It's really built to help us think like pattern makers, which is nice, since I do think like a pattern maker, although I hated that class.  I just looked at her design & made this up.  It's nice to just slip their own belts through.  Then it's a fast project from my stash instead of a trip to the notions store for straps & buckles & what-not.  I love how they came out & so do the boys.  They've been part of the fire station, the "super-fast grillers grill," the restaurant & the train repair so far.  I made them yesterday.Speaking of multi-purpose pouches, I'll now add harvesting as #541 on the list of reasons it's great to wear your baby.  This is the Moby, which made me crazy for months with it's 20 feet of fabric.   I absolutely LOVE my Tricotti wrap.  But as he gets bigger & more distracted by his brothers, the Moby gives him more coverage & me more back support for when he's trying to escape, can't calm down or is just plain making himself heavy.  And it has a few extra pockets as a result of all that baby-origami.  There's just something about seeing my baby snuggled so close with a fresh bunch of rainbow chard that makes me feel happy & light.  Maybe it's a sense of efficiency & industriousness.  Maybe it makes me know I look like supermom when I'm really just trying to avoid getting a basket.  But more likely it's that part of me sees something familiar, a mama-gatherer moment, just like every mother before us.  There's something about it that makes me feel like I'm successfully holding the hopes & burdens of the earth goddess herself, even if just for a moment.